Movie Review: The Three Stooges (2012)

Posted: September 29, 2012 in Comedy
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Larry (Sean Hayes) Curly, (Will Sasso) and Moe (Chris Diantopolis) are orphans dumped in front of a Catholic orphanage and raised by the sisters who live there.  Moe has a chance to be adopted by a rich man, Mr. Harter (Stephen Collins) but insists that all three friends must be adopted with him.  Mr. Harter instead adopts Teddy (Jake Peck) and Moe goes back to the orphanage.  Twenty five years pass, and Larry, Moe, and Curly, are still not adopted, and the orphanage is 830,000 dollars in debt.  If the orphanage can’t raise the money, they will be forced to close their doors for good.  Larry, Moe and Curly offer to raise the money in 90 days.  The three get caught up in a murder for hire plot involving Lydia (Sophia Vergara) and Mac (Craig Bierko) who are posing as husband and wife but are really lovers.  Moe, Larry, and Curly screw up the killing and Mac ends up in the hospital.  After escaping the scheming couple and hospital police, the three decide to try to raise the money on their own.  Moe hits it big as a new member of the reality show, The Jersey Shore, while Larry and Curly struggle to get by.  Will the Stooges ever get back together?  More importantly, will they raise enough money to keep the orphanage open?

 

I want to say right off the bat, that I am a big fan of the original Three Stooges tv show, that probably won’t engratiate me to anyone in the blogoshere, but nonetheless I am.  But I tried to go into this movie with an open mind.  That open mind closed quickly.  Instead of being a slapstick comedy that holds nothing sacred, this movie tries to add a syruppy sweet tearjerker about orphans as a subplot, and it just doesn’t mix well.  Even the slapstick is a mere imitation of the moves that the real Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Curly Howard, without much conviction.  The slaptick seemed staged and over practiced, not spontaneous like the original three.  What’s worse , after a promising opening scene, the movie is just not very funny.  What’s worse than that?  Sophia Vergara’s “acting”.  Worse than all of this is bringing in the cast of the Jersey Shore (to capitalize on their young audience no doubt) and not satirizing them or that ridiculous reality show properly.  So the audience gets to choose between the bad acting of Sophia Vergara or Snooki, and beileve me that’s like chosing between rat poison and mustard gas.  Nobody aquits themselves very well here, other than Chrs Diantopolis, who tries to at least get the spirit of Moe Howard right.  Sean Hayes just sounds tired as Larry, and Will Sasso gives up on his Curly impression about half way through the movie.  The usually funny Jane Lynch is not funny as the Mother Superior.  The usually funny Larry David goes overboard as Sister Mary Mengele, Jennifer Hudson is ok, in a small role, and Kate Upton is a one joke character.  Saddest of all seems to be the demise of the Farelly brothers as seriously funny filmmakers, they have written, produced and directed classic movies like Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, Kingpin, and Stuck on You.  Their more recent films like this one are less than classics, and I’m being kind here.

 

The Three Stooges:  Please, no Moe!

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