Movie Review: Jennifer’s Body (Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried) 2009

Posted: December 15, 2012 in Drama
Tags:

jennifers-body

A popular cheerleader named Jennifer (Fox) has been friends with a nerdy girl named Needy (Seyfried) since they were kids. When they go out to see a boy band called Low Shoulder, Jennifer’s determined to meet the lead singer, and Needy is determined to make sure that Jennifer doesn’t go with the band.  Jennifer ends up going with the band, but sometime later ends up at Needy’s house bloody and throwing up black tar like material.  Needy cleans it up but wonders what the heck happened to her friend after coming home from the group date.  Suddenly boys start ending up dead and Jennifer is always close by.  Can Needy figure out the mystery of her best friend and the murders before Jennifer makes a move on Needy’s boyfriend Chip?

This movie is so unbearably bad that it’s almost unwatchable.  I thought it would work on some level, but it doesn’t work as a campy comedy, it doesn’t work as a horror movie.  It takes itself too seriously to be a comedy, and when the jokes come, they are not that funny.  The thing that the audience is supposed to fear is only shown in silhouette.They never explore why a popular cheerleader would be friends with the terminal loser.  And for those who wanted to see this movie just for Megan Fox, you’ll be sadly disappointed, unless you like bad acting, then you’ve hit the Megan Fox mother lode, Fox can’t act, that much is obvious, she’s just an internet fantasy for horny 14 year old boys. The irony here is that for a large portion of this movie Fox looks pretty lousy.  The writers only seem to want to cash in on her sexpot image.  The other actors are mere window-dressing. Amanda Seyfield is supposed to be the shy, brainy counterpoint to Fox’s vacuous character, but this schizoid script also expects Seyfried to be the object de amor of not only her boyfriend, but Jennifer as well.  So she’s a shy, brainy nympho sexpot narrator?

Uh huh.  Seyfried was great in Mama Mia, this role gave me agiita. As badly as the women fare in this movie the guys fare worse.  Johnny Simmons, who plays chip looks like he’s about 12, and all the guys look like rejects from a boy band audition. This mess was written by Diablo Cody who wrote the irritating but tolerable Juno, and produced by Jason Reitman who will probably be nominated for an Oscar for directing “Up in the Air.”  So much for Oscars translating into quality.

Jennifer’s Body, not Fox’s Best Body of work.

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