Movie Review: The Avengers (2012)

Posted: February 3, 2013 in Action, Drama
Tags: , , ,

avengers

 

Loki, (Tom Hiddleston) Thor’s (Chris Hemsworth) stepbrother is back on earth to take the tesseract back from Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) who is planning to build an arsenal of weapons with the ancient Asgardian power source.  Loki wants the tesseract to summon an Asgardian army and rule the Earth.  Loki takes the tesseract, quite easily from Fury, and turns Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner) aka Hawkeye, into a mindless slave, with the aid of his Asgardian scepter.  Loki still needs a power source to open up a portal to let the soldiers down to earth, he finds the power source on top of the Stark building, and opens up the portal, and the soldiers rain down on New York City like the plague.  Can Nick Fury bring together the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) Captain America (Chris Evans) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) to ward off the invasion of extraterrestrial soldiers?  Will Hawkeye join the fight for the good guys?

I really wanted to like this movie. I waited for months to get this dvd on rent, I was angry that I missed such a highly rated movie in the theater.  It was rated highly on both Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB, and I really liked The two Iron Man movies, and Captain America, even though I didn’t like Thor at all, I was still looking forward to this movie.  Well the fanboys must be rating movies on these websites, because this movie stunk.  It stunk to high heaven. It is everything I hate about Hollywood, pure Hollywoord excess.  Car chases for the sake of car chases, explosions for the sake of explosions, mindless violence, no plot, just a huge mess, like New York City after Loki is done with it.

None of the actors had any presence besides Downey Jr. He was having fun. The rest are just non-existent.  Hemsworth is just annoying.  Ruffalo plays the same sad sack/wimp he always plays. There’s a detachment he puts in all his characters that drives me crazy.  Jeremy Renner is trying too hard to be an action hero, he should stop trying so hard, and just play it understate like he did in the Hurt Locker.  Chris Evans has nothing to do except be Mr. Gee Whiz 1950’s guy, and that gets old fast.  Scarlett Johannsson  looks bored, this is just a paycheck for her.  Gwyneth Paltrow continues to embarrass herself, what is she?  A secretary?  A nagging girlfriend?  Either way, it’s insulting.  Samuel L. Jackson is usually interesting, but even he was dull here, he’s usually a wildcard, but in this movie he seemed constrained.

For all of this I blame Joss Whedon.  He takes credit for writing and directing this drivel.  I like Joss Whedon, he did revolutionary work in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the tv show, and Cabin in the Woods had a nice twist, but the Avengers could have been written by a 12 year old with a lobotomy.  Really, rather than getting a paycheck Whedon should go into the Witness Protection Program.  Chris Nolan ruined superhero movies for me, the Avengers seems pedantic by comparison to any of Nolan’s Batman trilogy. The bad news is there probably will be one or two more Avengers movies.

The Avengers:  Green with envy? No.

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